I have realized that I am a very direct (& not too subtle) communicator and don’t have any problems getting right into difficult, painful and confronting issues. This comes in handy in many ways at work both in managing staff at the clinic but also when I have to approach confronting topics with clients. I’m realizing most people avoid tricky topics and this often means that our clients aren’t adequately informed. So I’m going to get straight into it with you today.
Lets talk about sex! Lets talk about talking about sex!
In clinic, I find I need to get real gritty explaining to our overdue women the power of sex in encouraging labour to start.
It seems like about half of the overdue women we see are recommended to have sex (with their male partner) by their midwives and most women have read about it helping or one of their friends may have jokingly mentioned it. However, because they really don’t feel like it (surprise, surprise!) and have little understanding of why it helps, they simply don’t bother.
I explain it to them like this and find it changes their approach …
“I know this topic can feel a bit awkward, but I’m going to talk to you about sex and how it can help you at this point in time. There are three reasons why sex can help now, and none of them need to be uncomfortable, hard work or unpleasant. I promise.
- Simply spending some beautiful time connecting with and experiencing love with your partner releases oxytocin – remember that is the hormone that helps get things started and moving along during labour 😉 You can also do this by taking some time to reflect on how you met, your courting, sharing memories of beautiful times together etc
- Having an orgasm can help stimulate things down there and also releases oxytocin. That doesn’t have to be hard work (for you) or unpleasant, hey?!
- His ejaculate contains a similar compound that they use in the cervical gel they use to induce you. But you have it at home, on tap.
So you don’t have to have long uncomfortable penetrative sex to get the benefits of sex for inducing labour. You can have a lovely time with your partner. Let him do all the work. You are doing enough work on the inside at the moment and about to do a lot of work during the birth. Here is his opportunity to step up. If you aren’t really up for much penetrative sex, let yourselves connect intimately and emotionally and he can then get you ready and then himself ready and then just briefly ejaculate inside you. Doesn’t sound too hard, hey?”
Most these conversations end really positively, even if they are a little blushed or feel a bit awkward. Most women state that they had no idea why it was useful and thought it would all be too hard at this point in time, but now it feels more manageable.
Of course we have our acupressure points for induction, and that’s an important tool to use to get things moving along – see below. But why not cover all angles and use all the best tools that you have access to – helping your clients feel comfortable and confident to have sex means that it can provide them with some more powerful tools.